Dateline South Bend Indiana.
Jesus loves cheese. He’s probably lactose intolerant so this is his way of being part of the cheese scene.
My question is: how long will our Lord and Savior Cheesus Christ last in a safe deposit box?
Jesus likes his Italian ice cream.
Apparently, Jesus did not feel like being out done by his mother.
I don’t know if Jesus wants a warm place to sleep or if he’s is trying to be born again as per his own instructions…. but one thing’s for sure- he likes to cuddle with the chillens. And he’ll hang out in utero to do it.
People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
The innuendo kind of just writes itself, doesn’t it?
I had a friend who expressed doubt that I could actually create enough content for this blog just based on Jesus sightings. He has since admitted that he was wrong and now sends me anything he finds on the subject. But, just to show you how easy it is to find material, I just did a simple Google search this morning, and came up with this absurd YouTube video. This bozo claims that he found Jesus in the clouds on the satellite image of Google Earth where Mount Sinai is supposed to be.
And, then there’s this Scorsese wannabe who turns melted candle wax into a 5 minute opus complete with an operatic score.
Dateline, Florida…again (I’m telling you…it’s the humidity. It rots the brain). Jesus has been seen gallivanting around in the trees of a Central Florida town. Apparently JC only reveals himself at night on a tree outside of the home of Joe Lewis. Then, as mysteriously has he shows up, he is gone.
Now, I can’t help but notice the similarity in this report to another tree dwelling creature…Tree Beard from J.R.R. Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings series. Check it out…
“I’m not really hardcore religious,” Lewis said. “I thought it was something cool. I didn’t think it was something to go crazy over or anything like that.”
I think someone needs to ask Mr. Lewis if he’s been watching his prize copy of the extended, uncut LOTR DVDs a bit too much recently.
A cathedral in Somerset UK had a divine event on their hands when a rogue been swarm decided to camp out on church grounds. Apparently they were so calm that even an old lady nearby didn’t even notice them…that is until the shape of the cross appeared.
So, living in the age of killer bees as we do, what would it take to get you to notice a buzzing mass of thousands of bees? Personally, the really loud buzzing noise would tip me off. Now, about the holy image the bees formed…no wait…it’s just a bunch of bees.
So sayeth a Florida woman about a rock she plans to sell which contains an image of the Virgin Mary. She plans “…to get a lot of money” selling the item on eBay due to the fact that what she possesses is in fact not a dairy product. This sale will be all the more impressive as she plans on divine intervention to aid in the sale…she does not own a computer.
Is the Virgin Mary a “biker chick”? A California man thinks so after he swears she protected him in a crash and then marked her deed by leaving her face in his leg wound.
A glass pane near a prayer garden in an Orlando, FL area hospital recently caused a stir when an image of Jesus was said to appear and then “vanish”. J.C. hung around long enough to “cry” and have some pictures taken before moving on to a tree stump, or spoon, or where ever else he hangs out.